Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Resolving Resolutions

I'm not the kinda girl that has ever ever subscribed to New Years resolutions. I always figured that if you wanted to do something bad enough, you'd do it, regardless of whether or not it was New Years. This year is a little bit different. Aside from all the law school stuff, I'm making some resolutions in my personal life that I really need to stick to. I have a healthy self image. I'm not cocky, but I think that overall I'm a pretty likable person. I get along with people, I make people laugh, and I have fun. I listen, and I'm always willing to lend a hand. However, this year I've sort of thrown myself under the bus personally. I've put myself into a situation that is grossly unfair to me, and is sort of painful. I've stayed in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable man, and talked myself into believing the feelings that he couldn't tell me he had for me were real. I talked myself into seeing an end game that was never really there. And it seems as if I just keep talking myself into being okay with things that I have no business being okay with. And the end resolution is near, but in the meantime? I'm not happy. And I hate feeling this way. And I'm not even sure if there is an end resolution that I can be okay with to be honest. Anyway, enough of a pity party. A couple of years ago, I found this quote that I fell in love with. And it's been my email signature for years, to remind me who I want to be, how I want to treat others, and how I want to be perceived. The quote is:

"Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe. - Barbara De Angelis

So, I'm stealing the quote back from myself and making it my New Years resolution. Let's hope that I can keep it. 

What are everyone else's resolutions?

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

It's Christmas....

I'm out of law school and newly single. Blogging has not been high on my list of things to do, unfortunately. My break has been going great. My house is clean, I've been working out, I've finished my Christmas shopping, I'm catching up on sleep. I love it. Although at first? I was so bored. Seriously, law school is so crazy and frantic, and then all of a sudden I was just......done? It was weird at first, but I'm relaxing back into it now. Still, once a week I'm getting together with a classmate and going over a study guide for one of our courses for next semester. Hopefully this will raise our GPA and give us a bit of a leg up on everyone else. One can hope anyway.

Other than that, I'm just glad to have some time off, but I do miss it. Sad, sad, sad. :)

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Nuff said

So, I skipped yesterday's Reverb10 prompt. I skipped it, but I'll do two again today. I'll get better at this (I hope).

December 7th Prompt:
Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create, or more deeply connect with in 2011?

Why does everything in the world relate back to law school? :) However, I did discover community in law school. I met a brilliant bunch of wonderful people that for the most part bolster and help each other. I've felt very lucky all semester to have met and made such amazing friends, that I will know for the rest of my life. As far as 2011, I'd like to be more actively involved in my local community. Weird, I know, but I did used to be very involved, and it seems like in 2010 I just let all of that go. So next year, I'm pledging to be more active and more involved in what's going on locally. 

Today's prompt: 
Beautifully different. Thank about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful.

This is an interesting prompt. And it feels a bit like horn tooting, which I'm not a fan of. But my most unique feature has always been my crazy name. And I feel like that name has personality and an identity of its own. And that's probably enough said about that. :)

Monday, December 6, 2010

Last final!

And by far the hardest. It's the professor that cares more about the structure and the punctuation than the content. Not too worried at this point, I'm as prepared as I can be. I can't believe, that in three hours, the semester will be OVER! :) :) :)

Two for the price of one.

I slacked on yesterday's Reverb10, so here are yesterday and today's.

Yesterdays:

Let go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

I'm tempted to write about the situation in which I find myself recently single. However, it's a little too soon for that. This year, I'm not sure what I let go of. For one, my insatiable need to control things, and to make sure things go 'as planned'. This year I've been much more relaxed about just going with the flow and not causing too much of a stir unnecessarily. 

I'm not loving these prompts. 

Today: 
Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something
you want to make, but need to clear some time for it?

The last thing I made was a crim law outline. The next thing I want to make is time to sleep. Dislike this prompt. 

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Wonder

Prompt #4: Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

Um, this is a weird prompt. I guess, I would say that I cultivated a sense of wonder in my life this year by learning. The law, in particular. And practicing contracts with friends and seeing how they work in real life and what happens and how they're formed, gotten out of, etc. 

Eh, I'm not a fan of this prompt. Sorry. 

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Prompt #3

Prompt: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid details (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

I don't feel like the true moment that I want to pick can be put on here. But I can tell you that it was cold, in warm, heated seats, with a spectacular view of Phoenix after a couple of drinks at Fez. It was an amazing night that stays with me through today. 

My second favorite moment was my first day in law school, at my first time in the library. I was nervous. I didn't know where to sit, whom to sit with, or what to do. I was sweaty, but was wearing jeans, a black top, and my lucky panties. The library smelled like it always smells, and I remember talking to Kyle and Jen. Everything was so vivid, so nerve wracking, but ultimately, so okay. At the end of the night, I felt nothing but relief, and empowerment, that maybe I could do this after all. 

Day #2!

Prompt: Writing. What do you do each day that doesn't contribute to your writing -- and can you eliminate it?


Honestly, the only answer that I can give to this prompt is working and studying (law school). And no, they can't be eliminated. Sorry guys.



Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Jumpin on the ole' bandwagon...

So I (like many of you other bloggers) am going to try and keep up with Reverb 10 this year.


The first prompt:


December 1 One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Success.

Crazy, right? My word for 2010 is success. I guess it's because I'm doing what I've always dreamed of. I'm finally, finally going to law school. And the first part of my year was devoted to getting in, and once I did, it was devoted to studying and making it. And I am making it, and that's freaking awesome. For all the complaining I do about the hours and the time and yadda yadda, I freaking love law school. 

The word that I'd like to capture 2011 for me is content. So many things are up in the air for me right now, and I'm a girl that needs to be settled, so it's strange for me, and I am a little discontented. So, for 2011, I'm hoping that things settle, I get what I need, and that I'm content with where I am in life. :)  

See you tomorrow!




Finals and Finals!

There is an awesome post here that I read yesterday about 6 hours before my first law school final ever, and it helped. Especially because I have been constantly surrounded by a 1-upper. And I realized, when I was sitting in my contracts final and working through every single problem, and having no problem answering them, that I had it. And that I had let all these other people psych me out, get me all freaked out, and then spend 24579834539475 hours in a study room going over the stuff that I already had down.  It's crazy, how people play this mental game in law school. Unbelievable really.

The good thing is that I've finally sort of figured out the study group situation as a whole, and I get it now. Bar review was fun last semester every Thursday night, but if I would have spent that time more productively...man the stress would be off now. That's not to say that I won't ever go out next semester, but Thursday nights would have been so freaking helpful if I would have just figured this stuff out.

It's hard to imagine that just a couple of months ago I was stressing over what to wear to orientation, and now I'm sitting in the library cutting down my outlines in sweat pants and a sweat shirt. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. :)